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Jokes

 
  Shuffle! |  Sort by: Date  Rating 11-20 of 1674 Jokess
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the elephant and camel joke
the elephant askes the camel why do you have boobs on your back and the camel sayes well thats a good question for a dick face
By: anais1029

3/30/2008 | 340 views
your mama
your mama soooo fat and black i shot a bullet at her it bounced back and said i need a flashlight.
By: joshdaman

3/20/2008 | 118 views
OMFG!
a guy ( im gonna name him Bob ) ...so Bob suddenly needs to go to toilets, so he enters in a bar. Once his in the toilets, he saw a guy next to him and this guy "make wee" with 3 "throws" !...so Bob is like " OMFG!!! How can you wee with three throws ???" and he other guy " wel...hum... i had a car accident so....".
 
After that, Bob decides to drink some beer.....he drinks, drinks, drinks....and he needs to go to the toilets (AGAIN!)....He is in the toilets when he saw an other guy "make wee" whit 6 "throws".... so Bob said " How can you wee with 6 throws" and he other guy " i had a motocycle accident so..."
 
Bob go to the bar and coninue to drink......angain, he has to go o the toilets !
He saw the guy next to him "makewee " with 15 "throws".... Bob says " OMDFG!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT ! How can you do this whit 15 throws???" and the other guy " well....im just too drunk to put down my zipper ! "
 
 
 
(i speak french and im not binlingual so its probably has a lOT of mystakes, im so sorry...anway lol!)
By: bloodzilla

3/18/2008 | 102 views
mother in law
there is this man and his mother in law has to live with him and his wife well one morning the man wakes up and his mother in law is laying in the floor passed out at the hospital the doctor comes to the man says well i have good news and bad news first she is gonna be alright she had a stroke but nothing happened shes prolly gonna live for another 20 or 30 more years but the bad news is that the stroke has made her unable her to talk so when she talks she makes this horrible screeching noise its also made her unable to use her arms so you'll have to feed her baby food for the next 20 or 30 years of you life its also made her incontnent so you'll have to clean her up and put diapers on her for the rest of your life the man said good god whats the good news the doctor said im just kidding she died.
By: cjb1431

3/15/2008 | 139 views
ligth bulbs
Q. how many emo kids does it take to change a light bulb???
 
A. NONE, they all sit in the dark cutting themselves.
By: roberman

1/31/2008 | 133 views
Tough Man Competition
There was once a competition involving three grueling tests. The participants had to do the following in immediate succession:

1.) Drink five bottles of hard whiskey in one go

2) Enter a room where there was a starving lion and pluck out its eyes with bare hands.

3) And then screw a very horny babe to her full satisfaction.

Many people bravely tried their hand at it. Few could get beyond the first stage. And the inebriated few who managed it, got promptly eaten up by the starving lion. There was none who could read the third stage.

And then, one fine day, a nonchalant man walked into the contest. Five bottles of whiskey were nothing for him. He emptied five bottles in five gulps. Then he said, Show me the lion! When shown the room, he coolly walked in. There was no hint of fear on his face, but rather the cool confidence of a person who knew he could do it.

Sounds of a mammoth fight came from the room. Screams of the man and growls of the lion were intermingled. Thumps and thuds which shook the very earth ensued. All of a sudden there was a piercing, heart-rending roar from the Lion. The audience waited with bated breath, their hair stood on end. And then, as suddenly as it had begun, the titanic roar stopped. An eerie silence prevailed.

As the audience watched, with eyes popping out, the door of the room opened, and out came the man. Badly bruised, with blood streaming from his face, hands and legs, he stumbled out - victorious, nevertheless. His face had the glow of satisfaction of an emperor who had just won a battle.

And then he asked, Now, where is the woman whose eyes I have to pluck out?
By: chaderballz

12/29/2007 | 226 views
How many.
How Many ADD kids does it take to change a light bulb?
 
Lets go snowboarding.
By: chaderballz

12/29/2007 | 135 views
Question center
A guy calls up the Question center with a problem.
Guy: "Hello?"
Answerer: "Yes hello? What is your question, problem, trouble, whatever."
Guy: "Yes, um, I have really been wanting to, but my wife hasn't. What's some good music to play to get her in the mood? Know what I mean?"
Answerer: "WHAT? What ya mean music?! You got hands don't ya? Use that!"
By: hawkboy90

12/7/2007 | 149 views
Yo momma jokes
Yo momma is so fat, you have to take a train, and two busses just to get on her good side. HA HA!
By: hawkboy90

12/7/2007 | 126 views
yo momma jokes
Yo momma is so fat, when her beeper goes off, people think she's backing up! HA HA!
By: hawkboy90

12/7/2007 | 129 views

11-20 of 1674 Jokess
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