Jokes

Chuck Norris drives a Ice cream truck covered in human skulls.

Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew all about it.

If any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were probably involved.

The boys' mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.

The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.

The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, "Do you know where God is, son?"

The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.

So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, "Where is God?"

Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy's face and bellowed, "Where is God?"

The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.

When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked, "What happened?"

The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, "We are in BIG trouble this time,"

"GOD is missing, and they think we did it!

Bill and Mike were best friends they did everything together. so one day mike came over to bills house to see what he was doing, when bill shot past him out into the street screaming at him to help him capture his escaped chickens. so mike decided to help eventually they captured all but one of the chickens. they went out searching for it and found it in a tree branch above the river. so bill started climbing the tree and mike came up after him. when bill started to slip he cried out for mike to catch him if he fell. when he did fall mike didn't catch him instead he grabbed the chicken. so when old cenn came walking up the river bank he found them arguing. he asked what had happened, cause they were such good friends. when bill replied, "well i just passed bill on my down the tree here and he didn't even say hello."

a black man walks into a bar a white man stood up and said u colord folks aint allowed here . so the black man stands up and says when im born im black when i get sick im black when im in the sun im black when i die i will be black. BUT YOU when ur born ur pink when u get sick ur green when ur in the sun ur red when u die u will be purple and u have the nerve to call me COLORED.

your mama is so fat when she sits around the house she sits around the house! your mom is so fat that whenever dhe goes jogging she comes home black and blue

Chuck Norris once ate an entire cake before they could tell him there was a stripper in the cake.

Chuck Norris once ate 3 72.oz steaks in an hour. And the first 45 minutes he spent doin his waitress.

Chuck Norris was denied an egg Mcmuffin at Mcdonalds at 10:35, and he roundhouse kicked that resturant so hard, it became a Wendy's.

If Chuck Norris passes you in traffic, you better be glad it wasn't the other way around!

In the beginning, there was nothing. Then, Chuck Norris gave that nothing a roundhouse kick to the face, and told it to get a job. That is the story of the universe.