Personal Bit on V-tech

I believe firmly that in order to live life to its fullest and be a complete person, one must experience tragedy. Without tragedy, there is no reality. It's unfortunate but a fact of life. Our triumphs and experience make us who we are. Out of respect to that reality, I never look away from something horrible once I lay eyes upon it, no matter how uncomfortable I am. Some might say this is unusual, or wrong, or silly, cynical and depressing. Honestly, its just my way of embracing reality, of making sure I never forget the victims of life's harshest storms, its my way of avoiding ignorance and keeping respect for the cards I've been dealt. The way I embrace and respect reality has in turn given me somewhat of a thick skin for terrible, graphic images. Today I found something I almost could not watch. Today I saw a young woman on TV, grieve for her best friend.

That was when I realized the power and potency of grief, and found it was my biggest weakness.

The young lady was a student from Virginia Tech, her best friend had been shot and killed in the French classroom on Monday. The girl spoke a few kind words about her friend, her personality, their friendship and future plans. She spoke about the events on Monday, the texts she sent, the waiting, the fear, the anxiety and the loss. She was crying a bit but still I sat; in awe of her strength, with respect for her ability to simply stand and speak, surely I couldn't have done so in her position.

I felt a calm relief. i thought this was an example of how strong people could really be when they needed to, that maybe I had that in me as well. Then the reporter asked a cutting question:

"If you could tell her one last thing, what would it be?"

I could never describe with words the look on her face, the emptiness in her eyes. She simply broke down and turned away. I have experienced grief, I've seen it and felt it and stared at it, tasted it, breathed it and lived it. But this was the first time I realized what it was. Grief is a part of a person's soul being ripped away from them, disappearing, dissolving - whether it's their security, Identity- or their best friend.

Grief is so potent, its contagious.

The same eyes hesitantly fixed to that image welled up with tears.

The image on my screen begged a question. What kind of person willingly inflicts this kind of pain on people? How could such evil and disrespect for human life exist?

The answer is simple: because we allow it to. As a society, we're living with the wrong values, and unhealthy concepts.

Disgusting evil and the mutation of the human spirit is like a social cancer, caused by external elements. These people exist because we are too wrapped up in technicalities and ourselves to recognize the threat, and the root of the cause. We cannot fix every problem, but we can learn from a tragedy.

The simple fact is, bad things will always happen.

We could blame the police, the protocol, the administration, the counselors, the gun control laws. But in all reality; all you can do is blame the madness.

You cannot legislate morality or insanity, it simply will not work. How can you force respect for right and wrong or others on someone if they don't even respect their own life?

There is truly no explanation or method to madness, but there is a purpose.

At the core of the evil displayed this week- was a desire for attention, a cry for control, a goal of inflicting fear.

The young man responsible left pictures and videos with the intent to control beyond the the grave, to inflict fear and shock and call attention to himself- that's what he wanted. By focusing on the killer, we're giving him what he wanted. We're only giving him importance. He doesnt deserve to be important.

Let us remember the other 32 lives that ended, lets focus on the victims.

As Craig Scott said, each one has a story, each one meant a lot to a lot of people. Rather than appease the root of the disfunction, celebrate the beautiful normalcy it destroyed. Don't waste your energy being disgusted, spend it remembering and comforting.

Its up to us to prevent things like this, to stop accepting this evil but still accept that it exists, and that it is inevitable- at least until we stand up against ignorance, hatred, and violence.

Harm inflicted on the people, the places, and the way of life i love...

I refuse to allow it. What about you?